


rotting slowly

by daftusername



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Alcohol, Alcoholism, M/M, No orgasms, desperate and ugly, dubcon, jay hates himself but tim hates everything, jay taking advantage of a drunk tim, mention of alex - Freeform, mild sexual violence, shameful and dirty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-08
Updated: 2013-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-10 18:45:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/789013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daftusername/pseuds/daftusername
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>jay just wants to forget</p>
            </blockquote>





	rotting slowly

**Author's Note:**

> the warnings are in the tags but warnings for dubcon (drunk tim being taken advantage of), alcoholism, alcohol, and mild sexual violence. nothing in this is happy or good.

its the first night since they left town and the money’s running out fast. between their quick exist, the cost of tim’s meds (they work, so jay agrees they’re necessary), and the way they both eat (slendersickness does jack shit to an appetite used to junk food), they barely have enough money to get separate rooms, which means that jay is able to convince tim that sharing a room would be fine this time. they still get two separate beds, though, which gives jay a feeling of disappointment that he tries his hardest not to think about.  
its something like a miracle, the way it happened so fast. first tim was just some guy who had zero answers and even less interest in jay, or anything that had happened. then, he was the guy with the mask who had ratcheted up jay’s paranoia to the point where he’s really not sure if those sleepless nights were from that thing or from the masked asshole (jay’s personal nickname for the jerk who sat in his bed and filmed him sleeping), or maybe from the myriad other people who were trying their damndest to make him tear his fucking hair out in frustration and pure lack of sleep.  
then, one day it was like magic and suddenly tim seemed. normal. it was like a slap in the face and it felt so completely unfair it was torture for jay to not bite his own lips off from the frustration. but he knew, too, that tim deserved a normal life. no matter how unfriendly he had been towards jay and no matter what he had done, it was clear that he had wanted no part in this, and that he had deserved it even less. there was something bitter in his mouth when he realized that tim was more of a victim than he was. that happened when tim confronted him and the bile that rose in jay’s throat when he looked in that camera (you’re not acting like a normal person) (who carries around a camera with them?) felt almost like relief. he could stop pretending he was a good person now.  
when jay realized that tim would never, ever think highly of him, he realized he had nothing left to lose (second christmas alone it almost felt like routine), so he got tim drunk that night in the hotel room. he told tim that they deserved a break from the impossible and settle for some mundane booze and tv (we ended up watching aliens and it felt like the best bath in the world, cleansing ourselves of our own improbability). he agreed, readily, and it felt a little like something had come unclenched between us and finally, finally jay could do what he wanted. whatever he wanted.  
it was after tim’s fifth shot of whiskey (it was alex’s favorite) that jay started inching near him. before tim realized what was happening, jay’s lips were on his own and suddenly all the air came out of his lungs and oh, this was better than jay had dreamed all those nights alone in a stale hotel room, hands shoved down his pants in a desperate attempt to just feel human. when jay got the courage (mainly from the way tim breathed a little in a way that sounded almost disappointed into the roof of his mouth), he drifted his mouth down tim’s chin and onto his neck and started mouthing along his adam’s apple. he felt tim about to say anything and that’s when he moved his head to the side and bit down, hard, on tim’s neck. he heard tim take a quick breath and then suddenly jay’s ass was on the floor and tim’s hand around his neck. tim just stared, pupils blown so wide it barely looked like tim, and then he was kissing jay, hard enough that his teeth knocked together and he tasted blood, and started unbuckling jay’s pants.  
it was like an epiphany. one second jay was thinking about how much his blood tasted like the $5 fake silver dagger necklace he wore in eighth grade (during his d&d phase) and the next all he could think was wet hot tight wet hot tight oh my god what is happening he looked down and oh the way tim was looking straight in jay’s eyes as he slowly (slowly) moved his mouth down jay’s cock. jay had to squeeze his eyes shut, wondering if this vision would end when he opened up his eyes, when tim licked along the vein running down from jay’s pale pink and slanted mushroom head to the bottom of his dick and then oh my god he heard something like a gurgle and tim was all the way down his mouth fucking stuffed with jay’s cock and it was something out of a dream, the kind he wished he could have again, the way it felt like somebody cared. it was when jay was about to come and he reached out to tim, that it happened. tim jerked away, face red almost like he’d been slapped by the same hand that was two inches away from where his face had been. before jay could even begin to think about talking, tim mumbled something about being hungry and left the room, baseball cap stuffed on head and hands in pocket.  
it was something like a real, normal life, worrying about romance. jay convinced himself thats what this was. _romance. mutual. real._ the words sounded hollow even in his head and there was nothing else he could do, he thought, so he grabbed the bottle of whiskey and poured himself another shot. there was at least one way of ensuring sleep.


End file.
